Advice From Paradise: Love Advice (and Music) from Nedelle Torrisi
This week: Meeting new people, getting back into the dating game, and a few bonus recommendations.
Hi, my name is Nedelle.
I’m a musician who started playing the violin and singing in musicals at age seven. I come from a Sicilian–American family; I’m the daughter of an ex-nun and an ex-priest who ended up working at a prison. My brother is a neuroscientist and will probably discover something really awesome someday. We’re all musicians, too.
I’ve put out a bunch of albums on different labels and under different monikers: Nedelle, Nedelle and Thom, and Cryptacize. The most recent one just came out on Ethereal Sequence/Drag City under my full name, Nedelle Torrisi, called Advice from Paradise.
I also began giving out love advice semi-professionally on my Tumblr a couple of years ago, after doing it unprofessionally for friends for years before that.
Have a question? Need some advice? Ask me anything at firstname.lastname@example.org or ask anonymously at advicefromparadise.tumblr.com.
Hi Nedelle. I am having trouble meeting people like me, even when I go to events geared toward like-minded people. Do you have any ideas?
Maybe the problem is that you’re going to events for people like you. The circle or community in which you’re running could be too small, and although you want to meet someone who has common interests, it can also be refreshing to meet someone who isn’t anything like you. I find that having the same taste and interests as your partner can get stale. Any successful relaysh is specific to those two people, and chemistry is more complicated than just having similar tastes. I think that whoever said we should look for people like us has been misleading us all this time.
Song recommendation: “Somebody to Love” by Queen
I am now having to enter the dating game after seven years, and it seems the landscape has completely changed. Any advice you would offer to someone coming out of my situation?
Well, seven years ago was 2008, so dating sites existed for sure. But now there are new and improved dating sites! Check them out. It might be a good idea to focus more on making friends with a bunch of new people, however, to reacclimatize yourself to the social world in general. I know when you come out of a relationship, you can feel like a caveman seeing the sun for the first time. Have fun and don’t put pressure on yourself to find a new partner right away. But honestly, there isn’t any solid advice for this question, because even the most awesome person in the world can find themselves single for a long stretch of time. Chance plays a big part in all of this. The only thing you can really do is focus on being happy, so if you meet a good person, you’re offering your best self. Cliche, but true. Good luck!
Song recommendation: “The Best is Yet to Come” by Frank Sinatra
Nedelle, I need your help. What music should I listen to?
Well, this isn’t a love advice question, but I’ll humor you anyway. I would recommend these pieces of music, for no other reason than they have affected my life in a positive way.
Bonus song recommendations:
“Dolphins” by Fred Neil
“Aeolian Harp” by Henry Cowell
“How Does it Feel” by The Ronettes
“Send it On” by D’Angelo