There’s a “Fruit Ninja” Movie Coming, So Here are Eight More Totally Legit Films Based on iPhone Apps

If Angry Birds can be the most popular movie in America, why not Google Maps?

If you are a Hollywood producer in need of a new film, there’s an app for that. This weekend, The Angry Birds Movie grossed $39 million, overtaking Captain America: Civil War as the most popular movie in America despite the iPhone game the film is based on having no apparent storyline, compelling characters, or relevance in 2016.

Not to be outdone by Sony’s success, Vinson Films announced today that they have begun production on an adaptation of Fruit Ninja, the other app that involves swiping your finger across your phone’s screen in order to cut something down to size. According to /Film, Fruit Ninja will be a “live-action family comedy”; we’re hoping that it’s a continuation of the story of Three Ninjas’s Tum Tum, but only time will tell.

So to get in on the action, we decided to outline eight more films based on iPhone apps. Anyone looking to finance, hit us up via Venmo.


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Instagram
From David Gelb, director of Jiro Dreams of Sushi and Netflix’s Chef’s Table, comes the artfully rendered story of one young couple’s quest for salvation in the precise folds and multi-hued yellows of a diner omelette.

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Snapchat
This heartwarming reboot of 1997’s Travolta/Cage flick Face/Off finds DJ Khaled (Eric Wareheim) undergoing facial-transplant surgery with a pit bull in order to offer pithy advice at an obedience school in Miami.

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Uber
This single-camera film is shot from the passenger seat of a car driven by a quiet, solitary man (Ralph Fiennes) as he drives around Los Angeles reflecting internally on his life, the state of the economy, and the relative quality of pop radio while a series of calamities unfolds in the back seat.

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Evernote
A Criterion-level workplace drama-cum-meditation on the transience of all knowledge. Accessible enough to enter the popular conversation but destined to remain buried on Netflix queues while you watch Snapchat: The Movie. Starring Michael Fassbender.

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Pandora
A Tarantino-esque collection of sixteen seemingly unrelated stories, united only by their adherence to the blandest and least subtle of genre conventions.

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Yelp
Dinesh D’Souza’s latest documentary on the volatile power of democracy to go mad and crush free enterprise.

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Lyft
Capitalizing on the popularity of Uber, the rushed-to-market Lyft finds Liam Neeson in the Fiennes role. Faced with the story unfolding in the backseat, he first engages, then overpowers the conflict, until finally all of the action moves to the front of the car.

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Twitter
A lonely man (Shia LeBeouf) is struck with an affliction that causes him to assign the same weight of meaning to everything in the known universe until his own perceived meaningless consumes him. Christopher Nolan directs.

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