As anyone who’s ever encountered a bag of Rap Snacks can tell you, it’s nothing new for musicians to pop up on potato chip bags. And as anyone who’s ever seen a Victoria’s Secret ad can tell you, it’s nothing new for Bob Dylan to align himself with A Brand™. But the good folks at Open Culture have discovered a particularly piquant bit of (presumably unauthorized) synergy in the form of Chinese Bob Dylan potato chips called—for whatever reason—“A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall.”
Sounds great, right? Not really, no—sounds soggy, to be quite honest—but we’re less worried about the taste and more concerned about the missed opportunity here. The only thing the universe contains more of than Bob Dylan songs is potato chip flavors, and this was a golden (-fried) chance to combine the two, with presumably delicious results. So we decided to do the good folks at what looks like the Chinese equivalent of Tyrrell’s a favor and came up with a few Dylanish flavors of our own. Kettle Chips, get at us.
• A Hard Chip’s A-Gonna Crunch
• It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Snacking)
• Positively Cool Ranch
• Honey Mustard Revisited
• Tangled Up in Bleu Cheese
• Gotta Serve Somebody (A Bowl of Chips)
• Lays Baby Lays
• Yea! Heavy and a Bottle of Sour Cream and Onion
• Ballad of a Thick Man
• Mystery Flavor #12 & 35
• Sitting on a Barbecue Wire Fence
• When the Chip Comes In
• In My Time of Fryin’
• Mr. Pringles Can Man
• The Ballad of Frito Lay and Judas Priest
• Funyuns of Johanna
• Like a Ruffled Chip
• It Ain’t Grease Babe
• This Mouth’s on Fire
• Subterranean Horseradish Blues
• Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Dressed
• One More Cup of Vinegar
• I Shall Be French Onion
• The Times They Are a Cheetos
