Lizzo’s Tiny Bag Caused a Big Stir at the AMAs
No offense, Lizzo—but what the hell fits in there?
Last night at the 2019 American Music Awards, Lizzo appeared on the red carpet dressed to the nines and carrying a very tiny Valentino bag on her finger. Her orange ruffle dress was Valentino, too—but it was hard to care about the dress with a dollhouse bag dangling in front of it.
Ya’ll hoes wanna know what’s inside me? 😏
— Lizzo’s Tiny Bag (@lizzostinybag) November 25, 2019
On the red carpet, Lizzo joked that she was carrying “tampons, a flask of tequila, some condoms” in the bag; but unless this was a satchel stolen from Mary Poppins herself, we all know that’s impossible.
Things this Valentino could conceivably have contained include an extra diamond-studded fake nail (in case one of hers broke off), a single Starburst, or a button. Things it could not have contained include spare lipstick, tissues, Lizzo’s ego (it is a healthy, robust size), and literally anything else.
Ultimately, what was really in that bag might remain a mystery forevermore. And perhaps it’s better that way. In the meantime, here are a few speculations.
I can’t believe Lizzo carried my self esteem on the AMA’s red carpet pic.twitter.com/SfhMMTQ6MZ
— Ben Yahr (@benyahr) November 24, 2019
— Ryan Schocket (@RyanSchocket) November 24, 2019
— __LDK__ (@LarryKness) November 25, 2019