Every year on the first Saturday in May, the world’s fastest horses and tiniest men gather at Churchill Downs in the Bluegrass State to compete in the most exciting two minutes in sports, the world famous Kentucky Derby. Each new batch of competing three-year-old thoroughbreds displays a wide variety of quirky names, ranging from regal to silly to outright bizarre.
We’ve put together a list of our favorites for the 2015 race. See our full breakdown below, with commentary.
American Pharoah (sic)
Because nothing’s more American than re-appropriating another culture’s deity and misspelling it in the process.
Carpe Diem
Seize the highbrow Latin speakers in the betting pool! (“I Saved Latin” should totally be the name of a horse co-owned by Bill Murray and Wes Anderson next year.)
War Story
It was gonna be “War Horse,” and then “Toy Story,” but you can’t gallop away from a copyright lawsuit.
Materiality
Oh, shit…this race just got metaphysical.
Ocho Ocho Ocho
8! 8! 8! It’s urgent, wacky and kind of arbitrary! Just like the derby itself!
Firing Line
I guess we know what happens if this guy loses.
Far Right
I have a feeling Sarah Palin owns this horse.
Mr. Z
Or just “Z” to his friends.
Dortmund
Odds-on-favorite to win “Most Dickensian Name.”
Mubtaahij
That’s Arabic for “elated.” No joke here. Just thought you might like to know that.
Upstart
They wanted to name the horse “Startup,” but somebody already had the domain.
Itsaknockout
A sly reference to today’s other giant sporting event (Clippers-Spurs Game 7, duh).
Danzig Moon
Soon to be featured in our “Indie Band or Racing Horse?” quiz.
Stanford
I checked for the transcripts. This horse is a fraud.
