Thank
I Have a Physical Body That Can Be Harmed
BIG SCARY MONSTERS

Thank’s a lot—a lot of clanging and crashing and crying out and cacophony. Catch them at the right (or wrong) moment and you might get hoodwinked into thinking you have a conventional proto-punk group on your hands, something The Ex or Gang of Four might’ve made at their tidiest. But as soon as you let your guard down you’ll get Thanked for it, courtesy of a baton bash to the head—and while you’re seeing stars, you’ll hear the hooligans cackling as they keel over in laughter. These guys are scoundrels, straight up, and to the extent that they want to make you dance or have fun, those motives are subjugated by their deeper desire to fuck with you.

“Bad news… Your neighbors have gone woke / Your friends and family have gone woke / I am the only one you can trust / Because I will never, ever go woke.” So says vocalist/guitarist Freddy Vinehill-Cliffe on “Woke Frasier,” the second song from the band’s sophomore album, I Have a Physical Body That Can Be Harmed. And if you’re not already onto the British band’s wry sense of humor, you’d be forgiven for swiping left. But if you’re blessed with slow reflexes, you’ll get the joke soon enough. “Bad news / Your credit card details are now woke / And you should send them to me for safe disposal / Your sick, elderly cat is now woke / Your beloved family dog is now woke / Your legs have developed a mind of their own / And you guessed it / They’re now woke.”

It all feels like a mighty stiff shot, but in actuality, Physical Body is a mixed cocktail, deviating from traditional adherence to proto-punk by lacing songs like “Down with the Sickness” (not a cover) and “Perhaps Today” with ’80s-throwback synth lines. In fact, Thank’s heaviest helping of hoodwinkery comes with the album’s opener, “Control.” As its name suggests, it’s a tight, pulsating, tension-building warm-up whose title could be a nod to Joy Division even though its inverse was that band’s real truth. In the closing minute of the song, the curtain lifts and Thank barrel out blazing like Protomartyr in their best moments.

Yes, trickery and tomfoolery are very much afoot with these spiteful lads, so much so that they can never be taken at face value. Even a statement that Vinehill-Cliffe released to accompany the album was highly suspect. Apparently trying to ameliorate those who feared the band had grown soft (or worse: woke) since their 2022 debut Thoughtless Cruelty, he assured skeptics: “I don’t think I’m necessarily trying to say anything I haven’t tried to say before, I’ve just gotten better at saying it. I still hate landlords, I still hate right wing grifters, I still hate people who hide their cruelty behind progressive language. I do hate myself quite a bit less, so there’s some hope and positivity in there too, as a treat.”

The are-they-kidding-or-not? question that’s either irksome or alluring, depending on your personality, is highly reminiscent of the immortal Andy Kaufman, who similarly confused everyone all the way to his grave. His one-line reaction to this British band would indisputably be (in his Latka voice, of course): “Thank you very much.”

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