Karl Kuehn spent most of the 2010s fronting (and technically backing, as their drummer) the pop-punk outfit Museum Mouth, though by the end of the decade a shift to a more personal creative outlet seemed necessary. His mother’s health began declining in 2018, and Kuehn served as her primary caretaker up until she passed away three years later—understandably keeping him from pursuing music, while also surely giving him plenty of feelings to process through songs that would better befit a solo project. Which is fortunate, because the new moniker Gay Meat may have been a tough sell for his bandmates anyway.
After nearly a decade of tooling with voice memos, stressful attempts at using Garageband on his phone, and, of course, navigating the unparalleled tragedy of losing the person he felt closest to in the world, the pieces have finally fallen into place for his debut album, Blue Water. Following a string of bedroom-pop recordings dating back to January of 2020, these 13 songs maintain a striking balance of heavily emotional lyrical outpouring and anthemic, eloquently crafted guitar-pop. You can hear the time and consideration that went into these songs, with every sonic detail as carefully considered as the lyrical themes that have been bouncing around the songwriter’s brain for at least five years now, intrusively or otherwise.
Part of the sense of buoyancy the record achieves against all odds comes from the dense guest list on these songs: cameos from Chris Farren, Jeff Rosenstock, illuminati hotties’ Sarah Tudzin, RNIE’s Lamont Brown, percussionist Taylor Haag (not the one from Love Is Blind), and Kuehn’s partner Nick O’Reilly all appear on the album, setting it apart from so many grief-stricken solo records that see their creators retreating to a remote recording studio or otherwise cutting themselves off from collaboration. Throughout his track-by-track breakdown of the LP, Kuehn constantly shouts out Brett Scott and Alex Thompson, with whom he recorded the album, and various other friends, indicating that it would’ve been a much different record without the community he built around it.
With the album out today via Skeletal Lightning, check out the music and Kuehn’s words below.
1. “Born Cursed”
I wrote this riff in a Guitar Center on tour with my old band Museum Mouth in 2017. I remember kinda gagging myself because I know nothing about music, and picking is…definitely not my strong suite. I kinda stored it away for a while until everything happened with my mom, and I’ve always wondered what the Schmitt side of my family did to deserve such pervasive cosmic tragedy? I guess I wouldn’t be my mother’s son if I didn’t have some of that painfully unfortunate luck myself.
2. “My Mother’s Son”
In 2010 and 2011 I helped my friend Becca High start a band and record an album for her high school senior project. That band was called SWTHRT, and “My Mother’s Son” was a riff Becca had written that we demoed for a second album we just never got around to finishing. I always loved this song, though, sonically—it’s such an anthemic arena rock riff! I re-tooled the lyrics in 2018 and added the outro in the studio. Speaking of the studio, I think this song had the most tumultuous journey. Brett Scott and Alex Thompson—the two people I made the record with—were…let’s just say they were not in love with a song that starts with almost a full minute of only instrumentation. Getting Chris Farren to sing on the chorus really took this song to a new place for me.
3. “Love for Fun”
This is one of, like, two songs that I’d written right before everything happened with my mom. I kept it on the record, though, because of its proximity to my mom getting brain damage. But dear lord, I can’t believe I’m saying this: Basically, I met a man playing Pokémon Go. He was significantly older than I was. We had a really cute and fun (but short) romance that lasted a few months. It wasn’t insanely serious, but I was, like, 27 and raw. Learned a lot about myself from that experience. What’s the Kylie Jenner quote about realizing things? That’s what “Love for Fun” is. Very grateful to have Jeff Rosenstock screaming bloody murder at the end of this track.
4. “More Good Angels”
After a week or two of sleeping every night in the hospital room with my mom I remember coming home to my actual house and just feeling so overwhelmed. I was fully exhausted, physically and mentally, and I remember watching this YouTube video and just losing it. I’ve waxed poetic about this so many times now, but realizing I had to be the one who was there for myself now? That’s a tough pill to swallow. Also, my boyfriend Nick O’Reilly and his bestie Rachel Haller are both such incredible singers. I’ve seen them shut down many a karaoke room. Their voices sound so gorgeous together. Kinda felt like I was the luckiest man in the world getting them both to do backups on this song.
5. “Hate”
A little ditty about facing the facts and everyone’s unique circumstances/view of reality. I’ve always battled spiraling negative thoughts. In a way they’re like a home to me—like, I will always have them. And feeling them can be comforting? I will say, though, if you ever want to make a beautiful record? Find someone with perfect pitch. Alex Thompson took the most crass, out-of-tune whistling I did on the demo of this song and perfectly transposed it to that gorgeous little plucked string solo halfway through the track. Thank you, Alex!
6. “The Powerball”
Easily the song I am most proud of on the record. I started writing “The Powerball” when everything was going on with my mom in 2018, but didn’t finish it until after she passed in 2021. Grief is crazy, and pre-grieving is even crazier. When my mom was so sick, and in such a bad way, I was doing everything I could to spark joy, and doing anything I could to make me feel close to my memories of her. Growing up we’d drive the 30-plus minutes to cross the North Carolina/South Carolina border to buy lottery tickets, and I found myself doing that over and over. I also always worried about what would happen to my mom when her senior pets passed, but the joke was so deeply on me, because I had to be the one to send them over the rainbow bridge. The love of a pet is forever. I will always be grateful to my mom for instilling that in me. Also, Sarah Tudzin [of illuminati hotties] singing on this track? I’m scared I’ll never write a song more beautiful than this one.
7. “Hymn 1 (Severance Pay)”
Coming to terms with how much my life was actively changing in 2018 was…extremely hard. I don’t want to say it was as binary as “good and bad days,” but it’s crazy how quickly a good day could get sidelined by just thinking about everything my mom and I were experiencing. She was so strong, though! She had lived this life full of so much pain and loss, but still found so much joy every single day. This song was basically me just asking her, “How’d you do it?” How do you navigate a life of high highs and low lows? And how did she make it seem so effortless?
8. “Vodka Sprite”
When you love someone who’s battling addiction, it can be…unbecoming for all parties involved. Before everything happened with my mom, our relationship had hit rock bottom. It was so painful. I was watching the most important person in my life turn into someone I didn’t recognize, and I didn’t want to let her down. I still to this day never want to let her down. I think “Vodka Sprite” is like a totem to those bad feelings. Musically, I think it’s so unbelievably gorgeous. I feel so incredibly lucky that we had almost three years of “bonus round” to repair our relationship while she was in recovery, but this song serves as a reminder of where we were before all hell broke loose. I hope people like it.
9. “12,000 I Love Yous”
My little “sound design” song. This song specifically had 100 lives in the studio. I knew what I wanted it to sound like, but conveying that idea in a way that made sense? Challenging! Lyrically, it’s so straightforward. And Audrey, who gets name dropped in this track? I don’t think I’d be alive here doing this right now if she hadn’t helped me through this insane time. Thank you, Audrey! Love you! My mom and I would never walk out the door or hang up the phone without one of us saying “I love you” and the other responding “I love you more.” Sonically, I wanted it to sound cloudy, voyeuristic, sepia-toned. I think we nailed it. And the entirety of this song is based around a guitar part Becca High wrote and posted on IG that I loved. The caption was something like “Free to whoever wants to use it.” So thank you, Becca!
10. “Simple Life”
I made the loop from this song on Garageband on my phone—the literal only time I’ve ever even tried to make something on Garageband for iOS, it’s so confusing. So I had this loop for years. I didn’t move it over to my computer until 2018, though, and almost immediately the lyrics came pouring out. When I realized it was going to be the most lo-fi loop-based track on the record I knew I had to get Lamont Brown from RNIE on it. Lamont has always been such a cheerleader of the things I make, and I’m so happy he got to go full Vanessa Carlton on the harmonies here. I don’t think Brett or Alex knew what we were making when we started working on this song, and I think everyone started to panic when I had Taylor Haag playing a whole second drum part over the outro. Ugh, this song is such a dark horse in the race for my favorite song on the album.
11. “Holly Drive”
I think—actually, I know for a fact—this was the track we were all the most afraid of in the studio. No guitar. One million intersecting keyboard parts. Demo-itis is real, and when I say we were all obsessed with the demo of this song? I mean…it was an epidemic. The demo was just so heartbreaking, it was so frail. It sounded like bones breaking. I think this finished version has some of that, but we also beefed it up a bit. Parents or parental figures: Please instill in the young people around you that time moves quickly. And young people: Please listen to your parents or parental figures. And I studied at the school of “the second-to-last track is actually the closer,” and to me this is the closer. If the record ended here? I think…well, that would have been plain evil of me.
12. “Cheat Death”
After a couple months in the nursing home, my mom was fully talking again. She was doing so amazing! But in getting her voice back she, of course, was also complaining about how much she hated where she was at. Look, I get it. And four-ish months into recovery at the nursing home, North Carolina was hit by hurricane Florence. Shit got so rocked I couldn’t even get in touch with the nursing home for four or five days, and when I finally did, a nurse told me my mom had rolled out of bed and fractured her shoulder. I was devastated. But she bounced back quickly, and we picked back up on our daily visits. This song kinda bookends the album with “Born Cursed.” And I love that the heavy-ass outro is over just as quickly as it starts. I will always try to do right by her for the rest of my life.
13. “Blue Water”
I took so many photos, videos, and voice memos of my mom when she was in recovery. As hard as it was, I didn’t want to forget anything about this time. This is just one of a thousand where her hilarious personality and cutting sense of humor was on clear display. Brett, Alex, and I went back and forth for, well, literal years about what the record should be called, and when I found this voice memo, well, the rest is history.
